Persuasion and Networking
“If you want to run faster, run alone
If you want to run further, run with others”
– This is a quote I liked from social media.
Personally, I don’t like the concept of friendship. I never really had a good friend either.
And I don’t regret that. I enjoy spending time alone. For me, I am an amazing person to talk with myself.
I don’t say that I am a good friend. But I am an interesting stranger to you.
And I don’t consider women as friends. Boys and girls can’t be friends, they have not come on earth to be friends. Women are mothers/sisters/madams/supportive colleagues/lovers/strangers to me.
For men, I am ok with brotherhood rather than friendship.
But then, I need people’s help sometimes too. It does not mean I have to go to their home, massage their shoulders and chit chat.
Network is needed because you can’t do everything alone. Network is not synonymous to friendship. Friendship can be fake and a comforting lie.
What is the difference between network and friendship?
Networking is about building rapport so that you can get benefits from others and also support others. It is more professional and the chance of making someone feel sad by rejection is low. Because the attachment string is light. What I mean is, if someone in your network refuses to give you a favour, then you will not be much dissatisfied.
On the other hand, in friendship, attachment strings may be high and therefore, if there is a disagreement, the level of dissatisfaction will be higher. And relationships may be damaged. Remember that time when your friend asked you for something and you had to give it though you did not want to? It is simply due to emotional attachment.
Thus, building a network is better than making friends.
Everyone acts based on some self-interest. The key is to create value by giving and taking something.
I am a straight-forward person when it comes to asking for help. And when someone asks me for help, I like it when that person comes to the point fast.
But politeness and rationality matters.
Anyway, let’s talk about networking.
How can a network help you to succeed?
You might know at least one person who has failed school but still, is making a lot of money and also has power. Some politicians are good examples of this.
The way they have achieved this is with networking.
In business, there is a term called ‘conversion rate’. It is used in the sales field. Conversion rate is the percent of consumers buying something out of total people asked to buy.
If you ask more people, your chance of selling increases.
And if you ask people you know, that chance increases. Simply because people who know you, will buy from you just because there is a factor of TRUST.
Trust is very important in the case of getting a favour.
Some people also buy just because they can’t say ‘no’ to people they know.
The point is, you should build your network.
Be on good terms with people.
Be helpful to others.
Be a good source of knowledge. Then people will come back to you again and again.
To build a good network, you have to learn to GIVE first.
Give respect …. Give support …. Give knowledge …. Be a source.
This is how you will be a dependable person, someone who can be trusted. Be genuine in this.
If you don’t know something, direct them to some other source.
There are many so-called social media influencers. But there are few influencers who have been doing good and growing gradually. The reason is that they add value to our lives.
Top YouTube channels in 2022
I would like to mention some of my favourite YouTube channels of 2022. These have been good sources of knowledge to me.
CodeWithHarry (I designed the primary BlogSutram website with his tutorial)
Warikoo (writer of ‘Do Epic Shit’ and who inspired me to write these book)
Intellectual Indies, Josh talks, Raj Shamani, Think School, Backstage with Millionaires, TedX Talks, Convey by FinnovationZ (business knowledge and news, learned more than my MBA here)
Create Quantum Wealth (interesting)
Abtaran India (official YouTube channel of Abtaran App Store where we post interesting contents)
Pranjal Kamra, Bekifaayati, Josh Money (Finance knowledge)
FitTuber (health habits)
Seeken (book summaries)
Mystery of Crypto, MoneyZG, Whiteboard Crypto (Cryptocurrency knowledge and news)
Jordan B. Peterson, FreshandFit (psychology and personal development)
AstroKapoor, Conscience and Rupen R Shah (interesting astrological insights)
Young Moves Media, The Festival of Bharat, An Open Letter, String, AKTK, (a lot of unknown history and happenings of India)
FlexiTricks & Mera Template (learned a lot about app business)
Dark side of networking
Network can be a very dangerous tool as well. Once you get a high number of followers, you can also brainwash and mislead them to support your propaganda. And this is not a new thing…. Many leaders do that.
But you have to start with adding value to the people in some way or another.
How to do networking easily and sustainably?
When you start giving, without the expectation of getting anything, you may only receive poison and criticism at start. But DON’T give up.
Move forward with your willpower as strong as steel.
Any person who has achieved success, could not do it without sacrificing, sweating and shedding tears.
In the era of the digital world, it is easier to build your network through social media. Join LinkedIn, create content on YouTube, you will be known to others.
You might be liked by some, hated by some, ignored by many. But still, something is better than nothing in this case.
How to build your network without social media?
If you think that you would avoid social media, be my guest. I don’t like it myself. And actually, there are many ways to build your network offline. You just haven’t looked into that.
Some ways to build network offline can be:
- Simply going and talking to people (in events, communities, your class or office)
- Hosting offline events and inviting people
- Taking a sales job
- Being an active listener and ask questions
- Calling on phone
Networking offline is actually easier than online networking. Everyone is busy checking out likes and comments. If you can be different, that will be interesting.
Going and talking with people takes confidence. It is not about introverts or extroverts. It is about going out of the comfort zone.
You can be an extrovert, but still be boring. You can be introverted but still have good communication skills.
Some lesser-known benefits of offline networking
I have actually approached strangers many times. Though it does not make me special.
I have talked with complete stranger girls in public places. Before talking every time, my heart beats so fast. But I take deep breaths and tell myself- “what will happen at most… she will ignore me and go away”. And then I go and start a conversation. The percentage of me getting an impolite reply from a stranger girl is 0%. Girls feel enchanted, sometimes shy; but never talk badly. People with panic attacks may act differently.
This boosts confidence and testosterone. Next time it is easier for me to approach another stranger.
On the other hand, when strangers approach me, I like that as well. I behave politely.
Try it, you’ll be fine, pinkie promise.
When you build your network, your trustworthiness increases. And you will be nearer to success when asking for a favour.
Your network also represents your reputation.
Try not doing anything that impacts the reputation. Then you might have to start from scratch again.
What is persuasion?
Persuasion is the technique to level up your networking skills. It is also a part of negotiation.
When you negotiate, you discuss things to come to a conclusion. And when you persuade, you make others think like you and make them agree to your conclusion.
Principles of persuasion by Robert Cialdini
I really like Robert Cialdini’s persuasion techniques in this aspect. He talked about 6 points regarding influencing people.
- Reciprocity- Give first to increase your chance of getting back.
- Scarcity- If you say something is limited, its value increases. Eg: There can be 21 million total Bitcoins and more than 19 million have been already mined. When the supply reduces, the value will increase.
- Authority- If someone says phrases like “Research has proven that” or “Experts say that” etc; you are more likely to get convinced.
- Commitment and consistency- When you make a promise, people are more likely to trust you. And the trust increases when they see you keeping your promise.
- Liking- Compliment others, they will like you back.
- Consensus- Social proof; e.g., ‘9 out of 10 dentists have recommended Sensodyne toothpaste !!’
Not all of these can be used in every type of conversation. But in business or negotiation, these are very useful.
How can you persuade people in real life?
A salesperson’s work is to turn a ‘no’ to ‘yes’ from a consumer. For that, they need to identify different loopholes the consumer can find out. And then they prepare convincing answers to show that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. Or they logically negate the confusion of the consumers.
A small tip is that if you use ‘because’ in your conversation while asking something, you are likely to get success. This is because people like to see you prove yourself.
You also need to shut up and listen to the other person before you negotiate and persuade. Because you need to analyse how to convince the other person to agree to your terms.
When you build your network and persuade them properly, you can achieve a lot.
One interesting thing is that- stereotypes may reduce your rate of success. People can be racist and closed-minded. And influencing them is not easy.
You are not an ice cream so don’t expect everyone to like you.
What are some hacks to improve your persuasion skills?
Communication style, body language, and behaviour are some things that can help you increase your chance of success with these people.
Some tips related to this aspect are:
- While you stand and speak, keep your legs shoulder width apart.
- Take space to use your hand gesture, if your elbows are further from your body, you will look more convincing.
- Show facial expressions to show genuineness.
Practice these and you can be a leader in any field.
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