Not Trusting Blindly- Introduction
Blind trust has f*cked up more people than you can think of.
Be it in personal life, professional life, political scenario or overconfidence.
Why is blind trust harmful for children?
In your personal life, you may blindly trust your family members. Better to say that you are told to blindly trust your family members, neighbours etc. But it feels shit when we read about these so-called ‘dear ones’ molesting children, irrespective of gender.
Children should be taught to not trust anyone blindly and ask questions with genuine interest. They should be taught how to protect themselves by critically analysing the situations when they are alone. It might be suitable to teach them combat skills or just to shout when in danger. This sounds harsh, but it is necessary. Children need not be naïve. And this is a parenting guide for you.
Most parents don’t have these types of thoughts in mind because when they were young, these types of paedophilic activities might not have been too much. But somehow, such activities have increased and it is utterly disgusting.
It scars the children their whole lives and affects their mental health. I am not any researcher in this, but with my peanut-size brain I can understand at least this much.
On the other hand, often children and teenagers are told to trust blindly.
Not to question the elderly people.
Not to think on their own.
Just to do what is told to do.
However, this is not a stereotype. Some parents do teach children about this and make them aware. And more of this is needed.
Parents should not depend on schools. Children consider their parents or guardians as their first teachers and it is the parents’/guardians’ duty to keep them safe and make them aware.
Why should you not trust blindly?
In your personal life, you may blindly trust your partner or lover. Blind trust makes you biased. Suppose you blindly trust your wife and she is behaving badly with your parents behind your back. Even if your parents complain to you about this, you are unlikely to take any proper action against your partner. Your partner may lie about this too, taking advantage of the situation. Your parents will lose trust in you. Are you willing to let this happen?
Feel free to love but keep an open mind and aware brain. Also, too much love is suffocating. It reduces personal space between people. And after some time, one person loses attraction. Personal space is necessary in a relationship.
Why is personal space necessary in a relationship?
Personal space is more necessary than compromising in a relationship. Compromising is more necessary than love in a relationship.
To keep a small note, compromising is when you don’t like something in the other person but still manage to live with it for a better relationship. It’s like when you say ‘I will accept you however you are’ and actually do that.
Dating 2 times per week is one thing; living 24×7 under the same roof is another world. Because when you go on a date, either or both of you show off your best use-cases. When you live together, you get to know the boring parts. This is why the rate of divorce increased during Covid lockdown period. People don’t have patience, and they don’t know how to compromise. When your life is full of ego, you will demand more respect. When you don’t get it, tension builds up.
Some cases how blind trust can fail humanity
Blind trust in relationships is dangerous. It has been seen so many times when someone from different religion cons another person in the name of marriage. I know of some gruesome cases as I am a fan of crime cases, but I will leave the details out of this article due to lack of space. But you will often see cases like women and children are being smuggled and being tortured. These types of unwanted events can only be avoided by creating awareness.
Feminism in today’s era is another fail, men and women are both victims of feminism. Because of feminist propagandas like equal rights and wage gap, women tend to believe that they can act like men. However, what they do not understand is that men and women are different. I have discussed this in detail in the psychology chapter later in this series. Women believe that they are discriminated against in the workplace when it comes to salary. They get paid low. But this is not true, most of the time women and men get the same salary in the same position in the same industry.
When women are less paid, it is because of their decision. They are more agreeable plus they tend to do jobs that pay less. On the other hand, women are more likely to be selected in the workplace, especially in lower-level jobs- this creates an employment issue for men. On the other hand, it is common sense that companies will of course hire candidates who are taking less money. So, between a negotiating man and an agreeable woman, the latter is the better choice to reduce operational cost.
On the other hand, for high level positions, companies need experienced people. Experienced people are those who have worked more and harder. Women, after a certain age, focus on family and neglect work- which is the most sensible thing to do based on their social roles. So, if a woman neglects work and another man is working hard- then the latter is the obvious choice.
So basically, many women are being blinded by the foolish propaganda; they are getting more opportunities in reality. But that does not mean that the outcome will be the same. Because the professional world is based on meritocracy (values merits). I have met many women who are still obnoxious about the fact that the wage gap is a myth. Even after showing all these facts, they blindly trust the propaganda of radical feminism.
Awareness comes from within but external influences and information can develop that awareness immensely. Most people are naive in this world; therefore, it is easy to program their mind. Malevolent people cause irreparable damage to this type of people. And this makes those naïve people cynical and question things- which is a good thing.
How can blind trust hurt your professional life?
In your professional life, blind trust can reduce efficiency to say the least. Suppose you are the boss and you have trusted your team members blindly. Now they might take advantage and not work properly. You will lose money this way.
So, it is necessary to set clear expectations and guidelines. Regular communication is important. But try not to micromanage. It impacts the team member’s confidence level and irritates them. Then they will leave you due to frustration. Micromanage only if someone is underperforming and needs specific guidelines.
From the perspective of team members, you should not trust your boss or peers blindly. Many of you consider classmates as friends, and in some cases, it’s fine. But once you step out of the education field and join the corporate world, things change. Most of your peers would like to see you getting scolded by your boss.
I would mention a recent personal incident where I over-trusted a team member and suffered for it. We hired a website developer who took much more than market price to build a website. I believed that he had enough skills but got a very lousy looking half-website in 6 months. The user experience was not exciting there. One idiotic thing I did is that I pre-paid him the full amount before I got the whole deliverables. I pre-paid because I was convinced of his excuses and talents.
But the reality was something else. We had to start over developing the website again and it cost us efforts, money, time and users. I learned that there are people who are good at showmanship and at least in business, it is very hard to trust people.
I would also agree that I made mistakes- by not doing background research on the market price of website development or expected timeline. Though I did not have enough programming knowledge, these could have been done. So, another lesson for me was to increase my own knowledge.
Your boss is not fully trustworthy either. Good relationship between you and your boss will remain till the time you are performing well. His interest orients profit of the business. You may think that now you have a good relationship with your boss. And you might think that your boss will spare you if things go south. This is your stupidity.
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