Handling Criticism
You are a victim of criticism from your childhood.
Everyone is a victim of criticism.
“You are fat”
“You are good for nothing”
“You call this a cooking, crap tastes better than this”
“If I could, I would have given this movie a negative star”
People get criticised for their appearance, behaviour, actions, opinions or something they haven’t even done.
And you can’t change this. You have criticised others yourself. This can’t be controlled.
What you can control is- your ability to handle criticism.
How to handle criticism?
You need to handle criticism without taking it personally…. unless it is actually personal. And if it is personal, punch the critique and be happy. This is because you can’t satisfy everyone.
But normally, you should learn to smile, be content and let the grudges go. Criticism gives us an opportunity to learn.
When you are criticised, it can be a blessing in disguise because it can be a shortcoming you possess and could not identify till now. You need to fix that blind-spot if possible.
There are 2 things in a criticism- the tone and the suggestion. If you focus on the tone, you will not be able to improve because humans are slave of affection. If you don’t get affection, you will be sad.
Program yourself to neglect that part. Focus on the suggestion instead.
I know that it is easier said than done, but you can do it. Because I have done it.
I will give you a very recent example.
I am working on another project- Abtaran App Store, it’s a new app store in India, launched 2022 February.
From the first couple months, when we were doing marketing, we used this phrase “An Indian App Store”. Our idea was that Indians will be encouraged to join their native app store. Initially we thought of making our platform only for Indian app developers, our plan was to tap into foreign app developers’ market after some months. So, we thought this would be a good strategy to start with.
However, one day, I got a reply in the email and it told me to not waste time with this useless app store. Rather, I should make a great app store and tell Indians to use it proudly.
I was a bit sad and confused for a moment. I replied by saying thanks and asked for more feedback from the person.
Actually, in this world, people don’t like to give too much negative feedback to unknown people.
People like to be liked and do not want to show their actual feelings in most cases. Sometimes, they also deliberately avoid telling the negative points.
Anyway, I tried to analyse what the person actually wanted to say. His actual feedback was that we are portraying our project as an “INDIAN” project, Indian App Store. If we add a specific nationality in any business, there is a chance that other nationalities will not use it.
That will actually disbenefit the app developers who make international apps. Users from other countries will feel that only Indians are allowed to use this app store and they won’t be intrigued. Here, I tried to understand the motive of that feedback.
This was a blind-spot in our marketing strategy and we slightly modified it to “An App Store made in India” and “A New App Store for the World”. This way, the identified issue gets solved because the foreign users won’t think that they cannot use a thing made in India. So, apps made in any country will get international exposure on our platform. And simultaneously we started developing our global platform earlier than planned.
I was a bit biased in this case because the primary website was for only Indian apps, I did not want to change that fact or reveal my next steps.
Anyway, the point is to see criticisms from an objective viewpoint.
Your intention should be to do something good enough to make the critiques shut up.
How do players handle criticism?
This is what the players do.
The newspapers write that that player has nothing left to contribute. And in the next match the player scores a hattrick and comes in front of the camera and dances. The media postpones criticism.
‘Yes’ to criticism, ‘No’ to flattery
The issue with humans is that we only value praise. Most praises are actually lies, flattery and useless.
If you already know that you are good at something, what will you do by listening to it again? This is why some girls don’t like being called ‘pretty’ or being proposed to by the same sentences again and again. It becomes cliché for them.
The culture is also another factor here. Indians don’t give negative feedback too much. The likability is one reason. Some people also carefully avoid giving constructive or negative feedback because they don’t want others to improve.
Then, there are some people who will criticize you just to ruin your mental peace. People with astrological signs Virgos are easy victims for those. I see my mother panicking all the time imagining weird scenarios. I make a poker face while seeing her expressions. #Indianmotherszindabaad
Beware of toxic criticism
You must ignore false criticism. If someone is criticising you and you already know that it is wrong, show them proof once. Don’t get into arguments, and don’t reply immediately. Let them get angry because you are replying late.
Smile is a good tool to answer criticism. If you have confidence in yourself, just smile and avoid responding at all. Let them find the answers on their own.
How can you criticise someone?
If you want to criticise something or someone, make sure it is a valuable critique. Or else, it is useless and it will spread negativity.
Criticism should be actionable.
Here are some hacks about handling criticism-
When you are being criticised, don’t think if the critique is younger than you or below your social status or poor. Welcome any criticism that can add value to you and motivate you.
Another important thing about handling criticism is to stop whining. Give me some peace and stop complaining.
If you have any solution, then do it. Or else accept it and be silent. There is no other way to live a better life.
When you stop complaining, it adds to your positivity and miracles happen.
Understand that YOU TOO can make mistakes. Some critiques will be harsh, you might feel that it is unfair.
At that time, you have to channel that sadness and anger into your willpower to do better next time.
One nice way to handle criticism is to make jokes. Especially if the comment is not useful. Sarcasm is a very useful thing to stop unnecessary backlashes.
Someone criticizing you means that your work is getting noticed. Sometimes, it can be free publicity. It is a good thing, cheer up.
Also, if someone criticises you regarding something, don’t think that you have to abandon that thing. Like if you have made a game or produced a movie but it is not up to the mark. Get the criticism and either improve it or get onto the next project and make it grand. Each time you complete something, your confidence boosts.
If you are a very sensitive person with soft characters, criticism might be hard for you. But you can do it because your trust in yourself is bigger than those negative feedbacks. Just keep my words in mind.
Other skills like this that can improve your success mindset.