Seriousness and sincerity
You are valued when you take up something and don’t give up on it. It can be your business idea, your relationships, your choice of dress for today’s party.
What’s the difference between seriousness and sincerity?
Sincerity and seriousness are two different things. Sincerity is when you do something with genuine enthusiasm, caution and awareness. Seriousness might indicate giving extra attention to something and that might make you non-spontaneous and reduce your creativity. So, maintain a balance.
When you are serious and sincere, you concentrate more. Your mind gets less diverted. And in the last chapter, I already told you, when you do something with concentration, it gets done faster. It also gets done with less error (in most cases).
I have too many life stories where I am not serious and sincere. Major cases and minor cases. Once, my mother went to the laundry to give some clothes for dry cleaning. But the shop was closed, so she came back home and while returning, she also bought some mangoes.
After she came back, she asked me to get the mangoes out because the mangoes’ gum may ruin the clothes. I casually opened the bag, but did not see any mangoes… because they were under the clothes. And I just left the bag there, and did not care much about asking ‘where are those mangoes’ or simply checking under the clothes.
A couple days after, mother found out about the scene, the clothes were stained with gum and she was furious. I got a heavy scolding. She still nags me till date by saying I am never serious.
Sincerity is backed by awareness. What does a sincere student mean- someone who genuinely completes his lessons. Someone who is genuinely cautious about studying. Focus on the word- ‘genuine’ that I mentioned here; it is important.
Sincere apologies- is a popular phrase and it means genuine apologies, nothing fake. When you are sincere, you are not faking it.
Seriousness means emphasised sincerity and it might be overwhelming at times. It may make you obnoxious as well. But that is good at times. When you are obnoxiously serious about something good, you will do anything to achieve it.
“Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho … to poori kainath use tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai” – [“If you want something from your heart, then whole universe gets engaged to let you meet with that”- I guess Paulo Coelho said something like this in The Alchemist]
A good example can be finding your crush’s social media account. Your eyes will be glued to the mobile and your mother will come and say “If you were this serious about your studies, you would top in exams”. (I haven’t done this; I just gave an example).
I am writing this chapter sincerely, but not with too much seriousness. I am simply enthusiastic and spontaneous to make you understand with simple examples so that you can relate.
I am serious about making a good quality article. But also, I am adding things I have experienced in my life.
When is seriousness toxic?
On the other hand, there is toxic seriousness as well…. Do you remember that Hindi movie named ‘Darr’… the protagonist (or antagonist?) was too serious about the girl.
In a relationship, when you are too serious, you will become a control freak. In a relationship, you need to give each other personal space. Or else there will be suffocation.
When you are too serious, it cages you …. Maybe it will give you something but may snatch some other things too. Be cautious.
You should be sincere, aware, genuinely interested to achieve something and spontaneous. When you are sincere, you will use time and money wisely and efficiently.
How to be a sincere person?
Sincere people are not told to do things, they take up responsibilities themselves.
If you are a good listener, you can be a sincere person. Often, the person you listen to- defines your sincerity. You may ignore one person and not listen and as a result, that person will not look up to you as a sincere person.
You might value another person more and listen to that person with more enthusiasm, then you will become sincere for that person.
You can be serious too, but within limits.
Some examples of limits can be- the effect of the seriousness on your health, relationships, mental state.
What’s the relationship between seriousness and passion?
Elon Musk says that he has worked for 22 hours, but it hurts his mind, brain and body. Though he has achieved many things, he often tells how he would not choose to be himself if given a chance. But, anyway, he chose to be serious with his work, to fulfil the purposes he has.
Also, he does not do things to get people to praise him. He does those to make himself satisfied. Doing good things without expecting to be rewarded- is a sign of sincerity.
Another example can be Ratan Tata. He did not buy Air India to get praised. He has genuine interest in that airline due to emotional family reasons. JRD Tata had to let that brainchild go, as the Nehru government mandated the airlines to be centralised for the government’s profit.
Then, due to the government’s lack of management ability, the profitability of Air India kept reducing and there were too many debts. Ratan Tata bought the company along with all those debts.
It means that he has to pay for the errors done by other inefficient people. He chose this for genuine self-satisfaction, not for getting praised. This has another definition— Passion.
Dr. Kalam once said “Dream is not something you see while sleeping, it is something that does not let you sleep”
It is true.
Sincerity and controlled seriousness give you a success mindset, a vision and self-confidence that- you CAN do it. You don’t need anyone’s approval after that. You will be simply driven by your passion.
Just choose a passion that is fruitful and meaningful. Then grind.
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